


Hamilton/Heathers AU Shine a Light (reprise)

by PlanetMe



Series: Hamilton One Shots [3]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alex is JD, Alternate Universe - Heathers, Alternate Universe - High School, James Madison is Sadison, John is Veronica, Lee was Ram, Madison is McNamara, Sam was Kurt, Shine a Light (reprise), Suicide Attempt, Swearing, Thomas is Chandler, burr is duke, or more like was
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-11-01 16:09:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10925334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlanetMe/pseuds/PlanetMe
Summary: As James sat crying in the middle of a boys bathroom all he had with him were Burr’s biting words that swarmed around his head reminding him of how he didn’t belong, memories of sharp, high pitched laughter from his best friend which he would never get to hear again, and just the thought of how goddamn pathetic he was.





	Hamilton/Heathers AU Shine a Light (reprise)

“I’ve been thinking of killing myself!”

 

Honestly, James didn’t think he would ever regret saying anything more than he regretted saying those words. Well, actually no, that was wrong. Comparing Weehawken high school to a lifeboat and whining about having to take the bus when a bunch of his friends were dead may have been just a bit worse.

 

Though honestly, what he said didn’t really matter anymore, what mattered was that he said it and now as James sat crying in the middle of a boys bathroom all he had with him were Burr’s biting words that swarmed around his head reminding him of how he didn’t belong, memories of sharp, high pitched laughter from his best friend which he would never get to hear again, and just how goddamn pathetic he was.

 

It seemed that no matter where he turned he couldn’t escape the thoughts, the thoughts of just how much of a whining crybaby he was, the thoughts of how he was simply a waste of breathing space who didn’t deserve to live, the thoughts of how he was going to die all by himself with no one around who even cared enough to remember him. He desperately searched for a reason, a reason to stay alive, a reason to just keep trying but no matter how much he searched he came up dry. As he sifted through his pockets when a particularly violent coughing fit interrupted his sobs, he thought of just how easy this would be. If he swallowed a pill to stop his coughing, why couldn’t he just take them all to stop his breathing?

 

He pulled out the small bottle of pills and peered inside, how many were in there? 20? 40? James didn’t know, he’d always been awful at estimating. He twisted the top around a few times frowned when he noticed that he wasn’t getting anywhere, stupid childproof caps.

 

He fumbled around with the bottle for a moment before finally managing to remove the top. He swirled the bottle around for a moment and looked inside. Wow, that sure was a mouthful.

 

Well, whatever. It wasn’t as though he didn’t have any experience with this.

 

Bottoms up.

 

The bathroom door slammed violently open and frantic words filled his ears, “No no no, stop, wait!” James practically whimpered as he looked up and spoke a well as he could with his mouth stuffed with pills,

 

“Suicide is a private thing Laurens.”

 

John smiled softly as he knelt down in front of James, “You’re about to become a statistic in USA Today, not exactly to most private thing in the world is it.”

 

John reached out to take James’s hand but he flinched away, “What about Thomas, Sam, and Lee?”

 

“If Thomas, Sam, and lee jumped off a bridge, would you too?”

 

James nodded enthusiastically, “Mmhmm!”

 

John sighed and began gently, “Thomas was your best friend, right?” James nodded hesitantly, “What would he say right now?”

 

“To stop being such a bitch ass attention whore.”

 

John smiled, “So…?”

 

James hesitated a bit before spitting the pills into his hands, he looked up and gave his best smile, “Thank you for coming after me.”

 

John flushed a bit before stuttering out his response, “Oh, uh no problem!”

 

Both boys stood up and before John could leave James pulled him into a hesitant hug, they stayed there for a moment before they separated both a little flushed but happy. John shot James a quick smile and turned to leave but James caught his arm, he turned back around, “Hm?”

 

James sniffled, “You know, even if he didn’t act like it, Thomas really did care about you, he thought of you as one of his best friends.” He gave a tearful smile, “He told me.” And with one last glance at John, James bounded off into the hallway with a reminiscent smile on his face.

 

John felt guilt settle in his stomach.

 

                                                            Xxx

 

 

James shuffled his feet a bit as he looked at the boy stood in front of his locker, “Uh, Alex you’re blocking my locker…” he trailed off looking uncomfortable.

 

Alex’s head tilted innocently, “Am I?” he slid out of the way, “Sorry, my bad. Anyways, who were you talking to just now?”

**Author's Note:**

> That was my first time writing anything even a little bit angsty, so I hope you enjoyed! If you liked it please leave a kudos and comment, and if you didn't like it please leave a comment explaining what you didn't like about it as I'm alway seeking to improve.


End file.
